February 22, 2025
Beloved Saints,
Today we are attending the 50th Wedding anniversary celebration of some dear friends. Their wedding was the first I attended in our church after I was saved and Lori was a bridesmaid in that wedding. While we have lived in different cities throughout our respective marriages but have chosen to serve the Lord over these many years. Lori and I married about a year and a half later which means our next anniversary is number 49.
I have been thinking what it is that makes for lasting marriages. Of course, prayer and consecration in choosing your future spouse is an important first step but it is certainly all that must be done. I was speaking to a young brother last campmeeting and he chuckled telling me "I thought after you prayed through on finding the right spouse...that a good marriage was sort of a given. It was sort of like 'plug and play'. Of course over even a few years that brother has learned that there are continuing choices necessary for a marriage to continue happily.
Now I don't presume to suggest that in this short note I can reveal what others have written many books about but here are some simple observations. First, once you have prayed and found the "right" spouse...then you must put an equal amount of prayer and consecration into becoming and continuing to be the "right" spouse yourself. You cannot change others but God is at work in your heart and will help you to become the spouse He intends. Beyond that there are three Biblical principles found in Genesis that inform us of how to be successful in marriage.
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Genesis 2:24
These words were quoted by both Jesus and also the Apostolic Paul when referring to marriage so it seems they are of foundational importance.
1) Leave. In many cultures including those during Biblical times a husband brought his new wife "home" which was often on the family farm compound or the family business location in which his family also lived. It was imperative for him to make sure his new wife understood that she had the preeminence (after God) in his life and relationships. Today I tell prospective newlyweds that while they may not need to physically "leave" their parents, they must determine that with marriage all other relationships, while still important, must change elevating the new marriage relationship to prominence.
2) Cleave. This is an old English word which has several meanings. The one intended here is that the two parties must apply intentional and willing force toward each other on a continual basis no matter the external influences. It is from this principle that our marriage vows include words like "for better or worse" or "in sickness or health", etc. I often use the illustration of glueing a board together so tightly that should the new board break, it would not break at the former seam/glue joint. We must be "counter cultural" today and commit ourselves to lifelong marriage by God's grace.
3) Weave. I use the word "weave" to summarize "they shall be one flesh" and it makes a good mnemonic (memory aid) rhyming with Leave and Cleave. Marriage is not "plug and play". We must find ways in which to weave two individual lives together. While we may not have the exact same interests, it is wise to find things enjoyed or challenges faced with which to weave together. There are some natural things which allow this weaving such as children and their love and care. But our care for children should be augmented with other interests... perhaps things like music, or travel, or gardening, projects, or a number of many other things...when experienced and enjoyed together which weave a couple together over the years.
It is our prayer that God will give our young people a Biblical understanding of lifelong marriage commitment. It is also our prayer that God will grant grace, direction, and comfort for those who have yet to find a spouse knowing that true fulfillment can only be provided in our relationship with Christ. We pray for those who have or are experiencing the brokenness that sometimes attacks and destroys God's perfect plan for marriage. We know that someday we will all be headed to "Beulah Land" which literally means the land of the married when we as a bride will embrace and be served by our bridegroom, Jesus Christ. And finally we are paying for the strengthening of the marriages within our circle of influence...the new ones, and those that have endured for years. The enemy is relentless in his attack on what God has designed as good but we are thankful that the devil is a defeated foe (because of Calvary) and we can claim victory.
God bless you all
BB
Rev. William E. McKibben
Senior Pastor
Today we are attending the 50th Wedding anniversary celebration of some dear friends. Their wedding was the first I attended in our church after I was saved and Lori was a bridesmaid in that wedding. While we have lived in different cities throughout our respective marriages but have chosen to serve the Lord over these many years. Lori and I married about a year and a half later which means our next anniversary is number 49.
I have been thinking what it is that makes for lasting marriages. Of course, prayer and consecration in choosing your future spouse is an important first step but it is certainly all that must be done. I was speaking to a young brother last campmeeting and he chuckled telling me "I thought after you prayed through on finding the right spouse...that a good marriage was sort of a given. It was sort of like 'plug and play'. Of course over even a few years that brother has learned that there are continuing choices necessary for a marriage to continue happily.
Now I don't presume to suggest that in this short note I can reveal what others have written many books about but here are some simple observations. First, once you have prayed and found the "right" spouse...then you must put an equal amount of prayer and consecration into becoming and continuing to be the "right" spouse yourself. You cannot change others but God is at work in your heart and will help you to become the spouse He intends. Beyond that there are three Biblical principles found in Genesis that inform us of how to be successful in marriage.
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Genesis 2:24
These words were quoted by both Jesus and also the Apostolic Paul when referring to marriage so it seems they are of foundational importance.
1) Leave. In many cultures including those during Biblical times a husband brought his new wife "home" which was often on the family farm compound or the family business location in which his family also lived. It was imperative for him to make sure his new wife understood that she had the preeminence (after God) in his life and relationships. Today I tell prospective newlyweds that while they may not need to physically "leave" their parents, they must determine that with marriage all other relationships, while still important, must change elevating the new marriage relationship to prominence.
2) Cleave. This is an old English word which has several meanings. The one intended here is that the two parties must apply intentional and willing force toward each other on a continual basis no matter the external influences. It is from this principle that our marriage vows include words like "for better or worse" or "in sickness or health", etc. I often use the illustration of glueing a board together so tightly that should the new board break, it would not break at the former seam/glue joint. We must be "counter cultural" today and commit ourselves to lifelong marriage by God's grace.
3) Weave. I use the word "weave" to summarize "they shall be one flesh" and it makes a good mnemonic (memory aid) rhyming with Leave and Cleave. Marriage is not "plug and play". We must find ways in which to weave two individual lives together. While we may not have the exact same interests, it is wise to find things enjoyed or challenges faced with which to weave together. There are some natural things which allow this weaving such as children and their love and care. But our care for children should be augmented with other interests... perhaps things like music, or travel, or gardening, projects, or a number of many other things...when experienced and enjoyed together which weave a couple together over the years.
It is our prayer that God will give our young people a Biblical understanding of lifelong marriage commitment. It is also our prayer that God will grant grace, direction, and comfort for those who have yet to find a spouse knowing that true fulfillment can only be provided in our relationship with Christ. We pray for those who have or are experiencing the brokenness that sometimes attacks and destroys God's perfect plan for marriage. We know that someday we will all be headed to "Beulah Land" which literally means the land of the married when we as a bride will embrace and be served by our bridegroom, Jesus Christ. And finally we are paying for the strengthening of the marriages within our circle of influence...the new ones, and those that have endured for years. The enemy is relentless in his attack on what God has designed as good but we are thankful that the devil is a defeated foe (because of Calvary) and we can claim victory.
God bless you all
BB
Rev. William E. McKibben
Senior Pastor
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